I Played ‘Magic: The Gathering — Arena of the Planeswalkers’ And All I Got Was Drunk

I am a huge fan of Magic: The Gathering. This collectible card game by Hasbro-owned Wizards of the Coast has been around nearly as long as I have. So when Hasbro offered to send me a review copy of Magic: The Gathering – Arena of the Planeswalkers ($29.99), I thought it was my lucky day.
However, Magic: The Gathering it ain’t. I encountered a significant learning curve that my years of play experience did little to alleviate. This is a game for people who are serious about board games—people who aren’t swayed by lots of little pieces or 20 pages of rules. I recently tested out the game with some friends, and this is how it went for us.
First Look
The box is on the larger side when it comes to board games—about 15 inches long—and is packed to the brim. It came with four hexagonal-gridded boards that fit together, 11 dice, dozens of tiny red damage counters, five plastic player avatars (AKA “planeswalkers”), and two groups of “squad” avatars—which serve as armies—for each player. The avatars were split into five colors—white, blue, black, red and green—just like in Magic: The Gathering. Unlike in Magic, there’s no creative deck building. You have to devote yourself to just one color and stick with it.
Of course, the heart of the game lies in the cards that came with all this, 12 enchantment spells, two creature spells, and one planeswalker card per color. I’m certain this sounds like gibberish if you haven’t played the card game, hence the enormous rule tome. We learned that the object of the game is to use our planeswalkers and squads to outmaneuver opponents for tactical advantages in key locations in the play area. “Be the last Planeswalker standing to win!” the game suggests.
The Setup
Acquiring my husband and two of our friends—who love Magic: The Gathering as much as I do—was the easy part. Keeping everyone entertained long enough to through the 20-page rulebook was more difficult. I found that plying everyone with alcohol was a fitting solution.
I was already on my second drink of the evening before we had the board set up, after a full 45 minutes of reading the rules and setting up the pieces. We each selected a planeswalker avatar to lead our plastic squads around the hexagonal spaces on the board. “Wait, so this is Warhammer?” my husband quipped, referring the extremely complex table-top game, in which hardcore players move miniatures around an arena and talk battle tactics.

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